习惯了

有些东西习惯了，也就不在乎了。

我不喜欢打招呼，这是一个我从小就改变不了的事。我小时候都要我妈提醒我才会叫“Uncle”或“Auntie”。因为我不会去主动打招呼，看到别人，如果对方没有看到我，我就当着我也没看到他们。只有当我看到他，他看到我，我才会打招呼。可能因为这样，和朋友走在一起，别人会说“Hi ______ （朋友的名字）”，就算是我们两个认识的人，大多数的也只会叫我朋友的名字。一阵子前，我还是为这件事感到有点难过。只是现在有点习惯了，发现打不打招呼，根本不重要。他的生命不会因为我的招呼而改变，而我也不会因他的招呼而改变。所以我觉得我的朋友说得好，如果世上有两个我，我永远也不会认识这另一个自己。

习惯了自己一个人回家，自己一个人搭巴士。习惯了在有心事时，打电话，朋友们不是不在家，就是没有空听我电话。只能自己独自面对，写日记，写博客（blog）。

习惯了，不再在乎了，有没有人跟我打招呼，有没有人陪我回家，有没有人听我说心事，似乎也不怎么重要了。

Sometimes when you get used to something, it doesn't really matter that much anymore.

With You

A Promotional Clip by RBKD

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I really thought this video was very well done.

The meaning of the black-and-white and sepia scenes was left to our own imagination. I would interpret the black-and-white scenes of Siqi and Zhang Yang's happy memories as her flashback, and the black-and-white used somehow signifies that the happy memories has become the past ever since he died.

The sepia scenes was sort of like 'sad memories', and how Siqi couldn't get over his death.

And I really love the song! I mean yea, I like Jay Chou and his songs, but the lyrics of the song really brought out the emotions and all.

说了再见 才发现再也见不到

I think this chorus line tells us about the uncertainty of life. It's like right after you say goodbye (which in this case the translation is 'see you again'), you realise that the person is gone. So uh, I think the song really matched the video well, and the part where the lyrics had '拥抱' and SQ and ZY hugged was (Y)(Y)(Y).

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I think I took this video as an inference question or something.

(What's with all the interpretation and thingies? -_-)

But since it's my own entry, I'm suppose to make sense out of everything and like this entry.

It's 2.17AM now so I guess my brain is not working well and my stomach is hungry.

Oh, and my sis got Jay Chou's latest album! So I can loop 说了再见 already!

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Till then, toodle-loo!

Ding!

Had lots of inspiration about what to write for my blog but all of them slipped off my mind before I could remember.

I remembered one of them was about MapleStory and life. Like how MapleStory is like life or something like that.

But I can't remember.

And lots of other ideas to blog about, and I can't remember.

I seriously think I have STM. I can forget where I put my iPod when I was holding it 30 secs ago.

Shall blog again when my brain goes *ding!* and it's switched on like a lightbulb. For now, just let me conserve energy for the light later.

Exams Drama Idol

Exams

If you were to ask me if my exam was okay, I would just reply you 'okay lor.' Except for my EL paper 1, which I screwed up by writing out of point for my essay. But since it's over I shan't rant on about that.

But overall I thought the whole SA1 was rather manageable.

Best thing about exams: No homework.

Worst thing about exams: Not getting into exam-mode and binge-eating. I have this habit of snacking on something like cereals and bread. And after every exam I ate at either KFC, Mac's, or some other places. Not good for both pocket and my weighing scale.

Drama

Drama re-assessment turned out to be a flop. A re-assessment is supposed to let you have a chance to work on the monologue again and improve, but in actual fact mine was worse than my first one.

And when everyone else improved and not you, you know how you're gonna rank.

Idol

Bet my constant 'Must watch channel 8 at 9pm today hor!' made you watch With You. Ooops.

I sort of realised the need of a bucket is not there already, because I'm an unfeeling creature.

Really, it's like ever since EP1, all the crying scenes are so bloody sad and all, but tears don't fall anymore. In EP1, there was the rushtotheaccidentscene scene, in EP2, there was the hugherdaughterandcry + hellophoneareyouinthere/therazoriscuttingherfoot scenes, and in EP3, there was the continuation of the hellophoneareyouinthere/therazoriscuttingherfoot scene plus the best sitontheroadandcry + tearsarefallingliketherain crying scenes. But none of it moved me to tears.

It's not that Rui En's acting didn't touch me what (in fact it was brilliant y'know), but I think I'm becoming more unfeeling as I grow older. I used to cry over cartoon movies like Bolt when Bolt saved its owner who was in the fire. And crying over books like Harry Potter when Dumbledore died. But now when I watch drama serials I no longer cry.

Maybe it's because movies are longer and the emotions are gradually built up within the audience, whereas drama serials have really sad scenes but those emotions don't build up that much because it's usually less than a minute and the whole show is not even an hour.

But ultimately, I think the problem lies with me.

And now I think I'm an unfeeling creature already.

Pages from the past

Mothers' Day is tomorrow, so have you thought of what to get for your mum?

I do have friends who give presents and cards and all sorts of things to their mums, and also friends who don't give anything, like me.

Yes yes, nothing will ever repay the effort put in by our mothers. It's the symbolism and thought that counts. But there is actually a reason as to why I never gave presents on Mothers' Day after that day.

I still remember it was the Mothers' Day when I was still P2. So apparently I bought a pink fake rose for about 30c from the bookshop. I didn't know how to give it to her, but anyway I handed it to her and mouthed a word of "Happy Mothers' Day." And all she did was to tell me not to waste money on such things and told me to keep it myself.

Yes, it's just a sesamegreenbean matter (芝麻绿豆的小事) but in fact, it did leave an impact. I know many of you have experienced similar things like giving somebody a gift but in the end told not to waste money. If it didn't affect me, I wouldn't even remember it la.

Sometimes, it's not the monetary value that matters (since it's like my money instead of yours). It's about saying a word of thanks. Accepting it and appreciating it. And not telling the person not to waste a mere 30c.

PS: I know 30c can buy me like 3 fishballs but still, that's not the main point. It's just 30c.

The dates above

Updates!

With You

I've been waiting for this showreel since forever. Kind of disappointed because I expected more crying scenes in the showreel, but it's okay, Rui En's still as orh-shum as everrrrr. I hope With You would get her the BA award next year. Hmmm. Seems like I do need a bucket from 12 May onwards.

The best post-SA1 activity would be to stay at home from Monday to Friday at 9PM, and keep my eyes on the TV screen, and myself on the sofa.

Oh and she looks orh-shum in long hair too!

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Okay I shall end of my post with my favourite picture of Rui En.

I think it was for the lensing ceremony for the August drama, Unriddle. POLICEWOMEN! Whee.

P/S: It's currently the wallpaper for my iPod. So everytime I turn on my iPod I see her face. :D

Exam-mode? No.

EL Paper 1 and 2 down.

Seriously, even after the start of the first paper, I'm still not in the exam-mode. Probably because of my TV and my bed and definitely my iPod. I'm like reading Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare right now instead of reading my textbooks and worksheets.

I kind of wonder how I even got into Anderson and survived. Note that I used 'survived' instead of 'getting good results'. Because a part of me studies for the sake of studying. I honestly don't think that finding x in algebra questions and learning about how people plant rice in some other parts of the world would be useful unless you want to be a mathematician/maths teacher, or some geog teacher or even a farmer. Yes, certain things in maths like financial arithmetic/linear graphs, and knowing the places on Earth can be useful. Other than that I don't know why we want to know x.

I'd rather spend the time learning languages.

I digress.

So, as I was saying, I'm still not in the exam-mode because if I were, I wouldn't even be typing this. I shall continue my Shakespearian stuff. :/

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PS; My last paper will be on 12 May, which is a drama paper. And then I can watch With You 我在你左右, starring Rui En as pregnant mum. Remember to tune in to Channel 8 [Channel 103] at 9pm on 12 May! :D

I picked this picture because I like it a lot. Really captured all her emotions.