Invisible

I didn't update for...... 8 August... 28 August... 20 days.

Because I didn't have any ideas to type into an entry once again. Sigh.

Talking to Zi Lei

Well, I started talking to myself these few nights.

And I talked and talked and said out loud how I felt, and is feeling.

And then I cried a pail. Of tears.

And in fact, it didn't make me feel better.

All I realised was that these problems are problems.

习惯了

有些东西习惯了，也就不在乎了。

我不喜欢打招呼，这是一个我从小就改变不了的事。我小时候都要我妈提醒我才会叫“Uncle”或“Auntie”。因为我不会去主动打招呼，看到别人，如果对方没有看到我，我就当着我也没看到他们。只有当我看到他，他看到我，我才会打招呼。可能因为这样，和朋友走在一起，别人会说“Hi ______ （朋友的名字）”，就算是我们两个认识的人，大多数的也只会叫我朋友的名字。一阵子前，我还是为这件事感到有点难过。只是现在有点习惯了，发现打不打招呼，根本不重要。他的生命不会因为我的招呼而改变，而我也不会因他的招呼而改变。所以我觉得我的朋友说得好，如果世上有两个我，我永远也不会认识这另一个自己。

习惯了自己一个人回家，自己一个人搭巴士。习惯了在有心事时，打电话，朋友们不是不在家，就是没有空听我电话。只能自己独自面对，写日记，写博客（blog）。

习惯了，不再在乎了，有没有人跟我打招呼，有没有人陪我回家，有没有人听我说心事，似乎也不怎么重要了。

Sometimes when you get used to something, it doesn't really matter that much anymore.

that kite in my hand

So sorry that I have not been posting since about 2 weeks ago.

Was busy with CAs and stuff and I can't really think of much to post. Possibly because most part of my brain was used to think about CAs and not weird questions. (I mean even though you don't really see me mugging and/or doing my homework but I do study okay~)

Birthday's in a week time. Hope to have something to post by then.

People

I guess that layer of pretence is getting thicker and thicker.

And soon after, we'll be fooling ourselves.

There are lots of thing you don't see on the surface.

And there are lots of things that I do sense. Under the surface.

Gloomy

As the dark clouds loom over the city,

fluffy white clouds are disappearing,

trees are swaying,

thunder is rumbling,

rain drops are falling,

umbrellas are opening.

I don't like rainy days.

It's gloomy.

I am angry.

I. Am. Angry. Fullstop.

First point. I am currently rotting at home with nothing to do and I feel useless and so I'm angry with myself.

Second. I am trying to persuade my mum to let me go to the Bash. And I am having some hard time doing that.

Third. I am NOT happy.

Hiatus

Almost everyone is on hiatus,
and now this person over here who is supposed to be but is not,
has lost her source of entertainment,
becaue people aren't updating their blogs. :(

-

You say I'm unfriendly,
you say I'm stubborn,
you say I lose my temper easily,
but these don't bother me, and they never will.

Because I am who I believe myself to be,
and not who you want me to be.

And I know, when everyone in the world does not seem understand me, and is laughing at me, my family will be the one there, and I still have myself.
And you will never be the one there.

Silence is golden, and it's not what you deem it to be.

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Maybe I was referring to you, or maybe YOU think I was referring to you. Who knows?