Speech Day 2010

16 April 2010

Things that happened are slowly slipping off my mind right now. Okay, before everything slips off and I don't even remember performing during Speech Day, I shall start my entry.

Was telling everybody that I was stressed. 'Cause I'm really afraid I'd screw up everything by saying the wrong lines or something. Hmm, then after having lunch we went to change and get makeup on. And I looked old. (Happy <--)

Erm, after that we went to get mic-ed up (that's what they say, which means to get the mike thingy on which I forgot the name). I mean the microphone was the coolest man. It's not like you get it stuck on your face all the time so yea. And on the way to get the mike I saw Mr Leong (P.E. teacher) and asked, "Hi Mr Leong, do you know who I am?" *smiles* Then he said, "You're Zi Lei."

I asked him because he always doesn't spot me during P.E. lesson even though I'm like the H.A. which stands for health ambassador who is also known as the P.E. rep. *breathes* He'll usually go, "Uh, where's my P.E. rep/HA?" Then I'll start waving my hands like mad before he spots me.

After getting the mike, we went back to Blackbox because there was nothing for us to do at the hall until quite late. Heh so I went around taking pictures of people and camwhoring with Meiyu. Y'know I seldom camwhore so... it's rare?! (It's 10.50pm on a Friday night and I think I'm going to play chess with 周公 already, hence the lameness. Ooops.)

A bit disgusting to see a Grandma doing this.

Let's just fast-forward all these teeny-weeny details to the performance, shall we? (Anyway you don't have a choice. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

My legs were like "~~~~~~~~~" while doing the knitting on stage. I mean it's not my first time on stage but it's like the first time I've acted as a Grandma. Anyway, I almost screwed up about the Wa Zu girls part, or rather, I screwed it up but Sakinah, Praveena and Vinesha managed to save it. I totally forgot the sequence of everybody's lines and started saying my lines at the wrong moments. I was like damn sorry. :( And after that er, nothing much la. Oh, really thank Sakinah for helping me wipe my make-up off and removing my grandma costume outside my hiphop costume. But for some reason I think she didn't wipe it clean so I have a feeling that I still looked like a grandma during the hiphop dance. (I haven't seen any pictures of me dancing hiphop so I don't really know how I looked like then.)

Had some de-brief session after the whole thing and went to have LJS with some ATCians. Didn't really got to interact with the other seniors except for Darrick cos all of us were sitting in different tables. :(

I Y ATC.

Now you see it, now you don't

Was listening to some chinese songs on my way home and felt this gush of emotions rushing up to me when I heard the piano prelude of a song which sounded rather emo. Not really sure why but it just happens once in a while.

Anyway, my point is, I've always wanted to learn to play the piano. Since, a long time ago. I decided that I will learn to play it one day when I was around P3 I think. 'Cos I was in chinese orchestra, and the choir would perform with the teacher playing the piano during events. It just sounds so nice y'know.

My only music background was playing erhu and gaohu in chinese orchestra and also singing with my sis. So I've always envied people who could play the piano really well. And I especially hate it when people have a chance to learn to play the piano but don't like it because thereIamwantingtolearnbutdon'thaveachancetobecauseitcostsmoneyandmymumdoesn'tcareaboutpianos.

My mum used to think being able to play tunes (not chords for goodness sake) on my sis's donkey-year-old organ (those really small ones that you can change the sound of the keys, has about 20+ keys and without the ability to press than 2 keys at one time) is called 'playing the piano', which obviously isn't true.

I really admire Mr Chin (Ah Swee) for taking up piano at his age. My goal when I grow up was and is to learn to play the piano using my own money.

And then I'm not gonna care if I'm like the oldest person in the piano class.

are you that kite, waiting for the flight?

So apparently I promised to update my blog these few days but I didn't. I had ideas, but I didn't type them out. And you know why? Because my brain has limited storage space. And I think I shall just keep my notebook/diary with me to jot down whatever ideas I have to blog.

And I am aware that I have a blog title totally irrelevant to what I'm going to type. :/

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What is one of the things you do when you first get home without anyone at home?

Okay, apart from taking off your shoes, switching on your fan/aircon/lights and maybe washing your feet, one of the most common thing to do is to switch on your TV. I do that too, because somehow rather it gives me that sense of security, even if nobody's home except for myself. To me, the images and sound of the TV tell me that there is actually 'somebody' with me, even if it means the actors acting or the reporter reporting news. It just fills that sense of emptiness with people's voices and pictures.

It's kind of the same thing like when you're alone and you blast music and think that you are safe. Or hiding under the blanket and thinking that it would protect you from anything.

Hmm. Insecurity.

Until 0000

The day where I got the most wall posts on Facebook,

The day where I got the most notifications that were not spams.

The day where I got the most unread messages in a day,

The day where my wish was granted ever since donkey years ago when I made it.

The day where I said the most 'thanks'.

This day this year, it is different.

Different because the feeling is not the same.

Different because I knoww I really gave my best to run for yesterday's x-country.

Different because I am glad that I am still alive, breathing.

Different because I learnt to appreciate more.

I will never forget what Mr Boh (my P6 maths teacher) said.

You have until the end of the day to be happy, to be sad.

And today, I am happy.

Happy Birthday.

Wow that's a great amplifier!

I seriously can't stand it when my mum starts amplifying about whatever little things I do and threaten to not let me go Marryatville.

First she started doing her great job of amplifying by first telling relatives + family friends how I cried my eyeballs out and tried to convince her to let me go to Marryatville. To me it is something that I do not wish to let anybody know apart from my family because I was the one who cried, not her. And I seriously think there is absolutely no reason as to why she has to tell people this.

And then she starts amplifying on little mistakes that I made.

"If you don't even wash the dishes at home, how can I let you go to Australia where you are living in other people's house?"

"How can I be assured that you will not wake up late or be a joke when you don't even know the reporting time for tomorrow's cross-country?"

And every single time she says things like this I get very irritated. I don't see why she has to link every single thing I do to Marryatville. It's not like I won't wash the dishes at the host's house or something. It's just different when you're at home and when you're overseas/camp.

Seriously, I sometimes wonder if all these tears are worthwhile. I'd rather just stay in Singapore and not face all these freaking excuses and 'no-links'.