Sometimes I hate myself so much.

So. Darn. Much.

Hate myself for saying the wrong things at the wrong times. For talking back to my mum. For being annoyed by my mum's good intentions. For being rude. For being angsty. For not managing my anger. For making my mum unplug my internet cable. For making her angrier than I am. For making her feel like she was a failure in raising her (useless) daughters. For not doing housework. For getting bad results. For not showing concern.

For.... not being my mum's good daughter that she could show to the neighbours and friends and relatives.

Wow.

I fail(ed). Not just the A.Maths EOYs but so much more. I fail at being her good daughter. I failed at being a good friend. I failed at being a good student. I fail at being an ATCian. I failed at so many freaking things, I wonder if I am a failure.

Making my mum feel like she failed at raising her daughters and making myself feel like I failed at being her daughter too. I hate being a failure like this. I hate myself at times like this.

There's so much negativity here.

I'm outta here.