青蔥

詞：青峰
曲/編：pan
監：何秉舜@goomusic/hocc@goomusic

小時候說的話 你記得嗎
我們描述不遠的未來 要變成太陽月亮
你現在實現了嗎 還是跟我一樣
偶爾抱著沮喪睡著了嗎

我們都不知道 蔥會開花
只懂得欣賞每頓晚餐 永遠配角的綠光
人生從來沒答案 理想從來有偏差
完美本來就包含瑕疵啊

鏡子中 驕傲的臉龐 帶著些許憂傷
成熟外表下 純真的心沒變化
童年的幻想 長大後的尷尬
看清自己的模樣

如果再活一次 會怎麼樣
生命中走過的日子裡 想回到哪段時光
自己是一面鏡子 越細看越明白
就讓氣味在黃昏裡擴散

鏡子中 驕傲的臉龐 帶著些許憂傷
成熟外表下 純真的心沒變化
童年的幻想 長大後的尷尬
看清自己的模樣

鏡子中 微笑的臉龐 帶著些許昂揚
成熟內心中 默默地開滿了花
童年的玩耍 成長的不漂亮
都是自己的模樣

Oh gosh this is too awesome. I'm going to sing with my kid when I have one. :)

stagnation

People around me are changing. Changing for the better. While I'm still in this seemingly perennial state of stagnation.

They are becoming prettier. Smarter. More talented. And just generally better.

Wasn't my resolution to be better person? Then why am I still stuck here in this land of quicksand that threatens to devour me the longer I stay unmoving? Even the nearest tree seems to be out of my reach now, let alone the neverending stretch of quicksand in front of me.

Perhaps it's time I did something to get myself out of this. They're getting out of sight soon.
---

This. Is. Torturous.

Absolutely.

The moment I switch on my computer, I have the urge to Google about DSLRs. And the more I read, the more I want to get one. Damn.

I've set a goal for myself, to get top 3 overall, then ask my mum (for the sake of asking) if I could buy one either with my own money or if she wants to pay for half or something, I wouldn't mind. I guess it's time to get myself something bigger other than the usual happy food like corn cup and oreo. But the thing is, I SHOULD BE SPENDING TIME WORKING HARD TO GET TOP 3. Instead of reading up about DSLRs, which should come after achieving my goal.

Oh dammit this is so torturous for me. I've been reading up a lot since the start of the year or somewhere there, but it wasn't as intense as these few days of weekends + national day holidays. Been thinking about whether to get a D5100 or a 600D. (Google totally doesn't help here.) And then I started to read up on lenses too. (After knowing all the ISO and shutter speed and stuff like that.) Still don't quite get how lenses are priced (some of them are so damn expensive), but have roughly decided on the focal length of the ones I'm probably gonna get. YES AND IT'S TORTUROUS when you know quite a lot about the camera BUT YOU CAN'T GET IT. Yet.

Trying to achieve the 望梅止渴 effect but failed because I'm now as thirsty as ever after stimulating my tastebuds.

Constantly counting down to when the results for EOYs come out. Oh and actually even if I don't get top 3, I'm still going to ask my mum. Maybe I'll just feel disappointed with myself but that's it. The desire to get a DSLR was merely a motivation for me to procrastinate less.

On a not-very-to-the-side side note, I dislike people who can get a DSLR so damn easily and yet doesn't make a good use of it. Like using it to camwhore in the toilet and take pictures of themselves with the toilet bowls as the background. Good thing DSLRs aren't very convenient to take self-shots because of it's weight and placement of the shutter.

---
WAIT FOR ME.
---

Oh and this song, is really really nice.

idolising

something I don't know if I could continue doing for a long time......

how many people have sworn to love their idols forever, but have forgotten them in just a few years, or even months?

I shall be realistic.

my mum has told me not just once, that she also used to have idols, but now... not anymore. and said mine won't last too. I said, it'd last for a long time. definitely.

I am certain my idols will never do things that would make me dislike them. (like things that are not morally right.) so the problem lies with me.

as of now, I love them a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot and yea you get the idea.

but what if that feeling fades? just like how my love for certain things did too?

I hope it doesn't. (it happened to be 11:11 a minute ago.)

they are definitely talented and lovable people. the thing is just whether my feeling fades. when I don't feel excited anymore. when I don't get starstruck anymore. when I get used to seeing them.

the distance between idols and fans... exactly how close should it be such that fans are connected, and how far should it be such that fans don't get too used to their presence?

these questions have been troubling me for quite sometime, when I asked myself if I'd still love chabansheng as much after a year, while writing the letter to myself at the gathering.

I hope one day if I stop loving them as much, this blog entry would remind me of the very reasons I love Rui En and ChaBanSheng now.

那個...

最初的感動。

Really really looking forward to my NDP performance together with the three talented peeps.

YES I'M SINGING!

Perhaps a part of me has always longed for recognition. For people to know what I'm good at. Not fame, just recognition. To those who don't know how it feels like to perform, they find it lame. But I don't mind. :) To be given the chance to stand on stage and do something I like a lot, and at the same time gain recognition, I think it's an honour. I guess I've always liked the stage. Maybe I won't be the best actress or best singer and definitely not the best dancer on stage, to perform on stage, that's what matters. I hope to be a good performer.

Have never liked how everyone has a label. Like this person has a good voice, oh that guy likes to eat, that little girl at the corner can draw really well. Yes, it makes people be recognised for their talents and everything else, but that only applies when they show it. What about those people who have never had the chance to? What would be their label then? Would their label be 'quiet', 'shy', or would they not even have a label?

Not that I want to be labelled. At least just a little mental note for people..... that I can sing..... not too badly.

Singing is just one of the few things I can do.... I THINK.

Anyway, it thrills me to just hold the microphone. Let alone SING.

Oh and I think Ling Kai is really cool. With an awesome voice.