Bubble of electrons

That feeling,

of being alone,

in a crowd.

Earphones in,

music on,

play.

Bubble forms,

noises gone,

chatters silenced,

all I hear is music.

I wish,

someone,

somewhere,

somehow,

the bubble,

would pop.

And I wont,

be alone.

Words

I guess we're always somehow affected by other's words and actions.

No matter how hard we try not to care.

I just got called a cheapskate (no I'm not blaming the person) when my friend asked if I wanted the packet tomato sauce (because the auntie gave it to him and he didn't want it) and I accepted it (even though it's with Meiyu now cos I forgot to take it back).

I do not find it cheapskate at all because it's food. If you don't take it it's just going to end up in the bin. It's something that people have made an effort to produce for you. Be it the tomato farmers, the factory workers. And obviously it's not just food, but everything else.

But anyway my main point is not about how we shouldn't waste food (although it is true that we shouldn't), it's how other's words and actions can affect us. How those words can make us do things, and how those words can prevent us from doing things.

If I had cared, I would not have taken the tomato sauce. And it would have been in the bin by now. Is that what I want to see? A packet of unopened tomato sauce go to waste?

I don't know about you guys but I have read this story of a frog who climbed up to top of the tower when every other frogs gave up halfway.

Because the frog was deaf.

He couldn't hear the words that the animals watching said. He couldn't hear the discouraging comments. He didn't care.

But those discouraging comments made the other frogs give up. That's the power of words. To drive someone to his death or to give him hope.

There are things that I regret not doing because someone else's words affected me. Can't exactly name one now, but I guess, everyone has.

To hold it just right, and let it take flight.

HEYLO EVEREEBARDEE

I realised I haven't blogged even though EOYs ended for quite some time already. Yes, I really do not know what to blog about nowadays. It's always these pointless entries about me not blogging or something like that. Sigh.

Okay why not blog about what I intend to do after EOYs/during the holidays?

Hmm.

I want to...

draw. I haven't drawn for a long long long time. Apart from my foolscap doodles that is. I'm like, working on a cartoon drawing of Xiaoman holding a gun, but I seriously don't know how to draw the face. The head/hair/body is done but the face............. I intend to draw a portrait of Xiaoman but I am lazy. HAVE TO LET MY NEW PENCILS START DRAWING SOON.

shop. Argh I want more clothes for Christmas/CNY/holidays!!! More flowery prints pleaze.

eat. Ohmigosh I want to have that ice cream at Haji Lane again! Frolick! Bak chor mee! :O

idolise my idol. Duh. But I'm gonna see her on the 30th anyway. Holidays = rewatch-her-dramas-time.

read. Yea I mean read. My wish of reading Harry Potter a second time had not been done ever since I was like, P5 or something. I PROMISE.

I can't think of more things to do now. Shall update this list when I think of 'em.

你的朋友 我的朋友 朋友？

I guess the word 'Friend' is too difficult to define. Or rather, the word is easy to define but it is the definition of a friend that is difficult to define.

My Longman dictionary says a friend is someone you know and like very much and enjoy spending time with. But of course it's not that simple as all of us know.

I once posted this reply for this topic of To you, What is the definition of friend? in RBKD's forum:

I think friends are the people
who will understand how you truly feels,
who will give you personal space sometimes,
who will stand by you when something bad happens.

But I think the more important one is that they should never lie to you.

I'm starting to think it's more than that too. I definitely think a friend needs to know how you really feel. But's it's not that easy anyway. I doubt anyone would really know how I feel. Apart from myself.

Hmm, I think space is a must. I don't see the point of going to the toilet together, eating the same food, doing every single thing together. I don't see why I should compromise just because a friend wants it. (Eg. I won't go into the same CCA with you just because you are my friend and you want us to be together.) Because in the end if you don't like it it's your problem, not hers. Because she likes it. And I absolutely detest people that gets angry just because you went for lunch with another friend. Stuff like that. Or something like 'Oh I don't like her so I don't want you to like her' sort of thing. Urgh.

As for the third one, I don't expect.

I believe mutual trust is the most important. I don't expect friends to tell all their secrets or anything like that, but just don't lie. I think trust is the most important for any kind of relationships. Something that keeps a relationship going on.

-

To be honest, I don't know if I have friends. Or whether people regard me as a friend.

Sometimes there are way too many restrictions. Too many expectations. Too many imperfections. Too many things that keep us apart.

朋友？

The 101st post.

有點累。心裡有點累。不是因為考試，也不是因為功課什麼的。

感覺有很多事情悶在心裡，想說又說不出，想寫在這裡又不知道要怎麼寫。很多事。

很想痛哭一場。很想到海邊吶喊。很想拼命地跑。

很想發洩。

可是什麼也做不到。什麼都被埋在心裡了。很深。

想哭。

想放風箏……

Happy Meal Happy Me

Once again I have to apologise for not updating. If I said it was because I'm studying for EOYs, then I'm obviously lying. *grins*

---

Title says it all. Happy Meal = Happy Me. I vaguely remember Happy Meal being one of my top wishes when I was young. My mum didn't like to bring me to McD's. I don't know if it's expensive or unhealthy, but she just didn't.

I used to do things like writing my wishes on nice little papers and putting them into some cute red packets (aka ang bao) together with some shiny candy paper. Stuff like that. And Happy Meal was one of them. I used to cut those pictures of Happy Meal toys and sticking them into notebooks. Especially the Hamtaro ones. (I love Bijou! I loved to draw her!) My only source of Happy Meal toys was from other people's birthday parties at McD's. Which is... sad.

Can't remember how old I was when I started eating out at McD's. But I never had the chance to have Happy Meal because nobody my age buys it. Until my dearest QZ ate Happy Meal with me and I got my first Shrek toy! I still eat Happy Meal! I have 2 Shrek movie figurines (Shrek and the gingerbread man thing (I didn't watch Shrek 4), 1 Doraemon spinning thing, and 4 McDigi toys (a car one, a submarine one, a penguin one, and a circus horse one). Awesomeness.

Perhaps I'm finding my childhood.

I'm still young.