For the Fresh Ear Movement by the Freshman.
(太。可。爱。了。)
Hmm why not 1440 minutes (24 hours)?
Because my mum made me 破功 by calling to tell me to eat my breakfast/lunch,
and she asked me questions like "How did you cook the cheese sausages?" and I couldn't just say "Hmm."
Oh also someone who called the wrong number and made me 破功 for nothing.
So an estimated 60 seconds of 破功-ness. *shakes head*
That of course doesn't include me singing along to the songs on the radio/tv/computer. *sniggers* That's something I can't not do totally because it's like a natural reaction to familiar songs. But since I think singing alone in the house is not a form of communication, it should be allowed. Hahahaha.
I think this experience would have been more interesting if it was on a school day. Then I can really write/draw on paper and not talk. But today I'd been staying alone at home and I don't even have anyone to talk to except my mum who wants me to 破功 very much. 真是的。
---
The 24 Hours of Silence
(In words because I can't talk or tweet.)
20:11
Panicked before and after the clock struck 20:11 because it feels like
I'm going to lose something very important. A feeling like when I'm
rushing to finish the exam paper! MAJOR PANIC!!! *shaky hands* (I
don't know why but it feels like when I've told a lie and I can't
admit! Horrible!!!) Gorging on my dinner because I want to talk badly!
20:41
Have not been talking for 30 minutes!!! A bit more comfortable with
not talking now. Couldn't explain why I'm doing this when my sis and
mum asked.
21:41
Wanted to ask my mum to help me grab my bottle from the table, only to
realise I'm not supposed to talk. I guess being silent means being
less lazy because I can't request anything without spending the effort
to write words. *sigh*
22:03
Have to keep reminding myself that I'm not supposed to talk because
talking (probably without thinking) is a natural reaction to things
around us. PERSEVERE.
22:13
Nothing much to do because I can't tweet/fb/SMS/talk and checking for
updates would make me feel worse. Mum thinks I'm mad. “她今天sot了，因为她的偶像说不可以讲话，只可以聆听，所以你跟她讲话他不会应你的。” I should go watch the freshear movement video again. And hopefully study.
01:11
Watched the Noose online and I have the urge to tweet about how funny
it is!!! But cannot. ARGH LuLu is too funny!!
02:24
I want to tell Elaine this kind of "有苦说不出" feeling but I
can't! Gah. It's like I cannot tell people my feelings about not
talking because I cannot talk. I need to expresssssss..... myself.
About 18 more hours to go!
08:32
I think my "tweet-about-everything-I-do" kind of Twitterattitute is
hmm...... making me want to tweet. I realised my Twitter is actually
full of meaningless things. Good to have a tweet diet as well.
09:45
Nobody's at home. Having the urge to talk to myself again but
noooooooooooooooooo. Integrity is important. I shall not talk. Okay
I'll admit that I sang along with the song playing on 93.3. A
leeeeeeetle. And hummed songs..... But my mouth is closed!
11:54
Watching Animal Cops! This has absolutely no link to the Fresh Ear
Movement but I think people who rescue animals are really admirable.
Oh and kittens are cute!
12:53
Not using my mouth to make noise = more focus. I can't sing along to
songs! But I guess songs sound better without my voice.
13:07
Mum spoiled my 24 hours of silence because she called me.
14:51
破功了 because someone called my phone. AND it was a wrong number.
Make me 破功 for nothing.
17:38
A bit bored now because I don't want to study. Replayed the video many
many times already but they're still cute.
---
Okay now for a summary of what I've learnt/realised/discovered when one is stopped from talking.
1. Most of my tweets are meaningless.
I had the urge to tweet about every single thing I did. It's good that I didn't do that 24 hours.
2. I could't be lazy.
Wanted to ask my mum to do all the little things that I was lazy to do but couldn't.
3. My mum thinks I'm mad.
Mad about my idols.
4. I couldn't share my thoughts with anyone.
So. Suppressed.
5. It's difficult to decline requests.
All I can say is "Hmm."
6. 我破功了。
---
安静。
用心，
聆听。
很难过。
有说话和没说话，
都是一样的。
想起我说过的话，
想起我的话不被理会的时候。
今天，我尝试聆听了。
可是明天，
又有谁愿意聆听我？
