Was listening to Carrie Yeo's 疼憨人 (soundtrack of 12 Lotus, though I haven't watched it), and then it brought me to Royston Tan's short films. And then I got reminded of one of his films (Sons) that 黃老師 showed us and it was in "Royston's Shorts", a compilation of his works. Then started Googling and Youtubing his short films and found this.
"Mother"
But I couldn't find the other short films on YouTube! I had wanted to ask 黃老師 to lend me the DVD but I didn't have the courage to and slowly it got forgotten until today. I shall watch 12 Lotus when I wake up later. Because I like Carrie's 疼憨人 and Jim Lim's 同花順.
疼憨人
I think I was searching for some random old videos of Carrie and Diya when I came across this. And then I fell in love this song. This very emo and melancholic tune and lyrics just seem to attract me. And I just found out that the lyrics include numbers from 1-12 despite looping the songs several times yesterday and today. Haha.
同花順
I dunno why but it seemed familiar to me when I heard it for the first time (while YouTubing the soundtracks). Again, another emo song.
Oh no......... my homework........................................
Short update! So as you guys knew, I bought a tub of PYSSLA beads from IKEA last week. And I made random things with it. You can see the photos on my Facebook. And I just completed my set of Chu Totoro, Chibi Totoro and Susuwatari (sootballs). I couldn't make the O-Totoro (aka the biggest fattest grey Totoro) because PYSSLA beads doesn't include grey ones. And I don't know where to find Hama or Perler beads in Singapore. But whatever they're still sooooo cute.
It's my second favourite, after the Holga 120CFN (I think that's the model according to Google).
Yay so that's about it. Today's a happy day (even though I haven't finished my homework)! Any suggestions of things for me to make? :)
I think I need somewhere to vent my unhappiness which is because of my ugly haircut now.
Like watching Fighting Spiders 2 on xinmsn and be glad that
my hair looks a tad better than Siewmai's. Or blogging. Which is what I'm doing now.
Damn. I totally regret cutting my hair shorter (or rather, by that particular hairdresser) because it now looks like a failed attempt to have Xiao-ying's hair in Breakout. And to think that my hair before I cut it short yesterday, actually had people telling me that it was nice. I really don't know what got over me to actually want to cut my hair.
Now for the hairy issues.
Hmm, so when I was young, my hair always looked like
[I'll upload the picture tomorrow.]
Until I started to have longer hair as I grew up. But it never got really long though. The longest it grew was below my shoulders. And then I remember having short hair for this period of time.
I can't believe I'm putting this pic up on my blog.
And some zi lian pics maybe about, 2+ years ago?! (So apparently it isn't true that Zi Lei doesn't take pictures of herself.) I am abstaining myself from puking. Oh gosh Zi Lei stop staring at me!
Horrifying.
Okay enough of my face. Yea so my point was that my hair has been shoulder-length + and - all this while. And now it's like shoulder-length --- (minus minus minus). And my fringe just completely CMI.
And I keep reminding myself to 看開一點. It's not that bad......................
I think my written (and spoken) English is horrible, to be honest.
When anger consumes me and I start tearing while lying on my bed, millions of unhappy memories rushes into my mind like and snippets of these unhappy events replay in my mind. And all of a sudden I have so many things I want to say, so many feelings I want to express as words or pictures. Sometimes pictures just come into my mind and I tell myself, hmm I want to draw this out. But having a picture in your mind and creating a picture with a pencil is different. And most of the time I can't think straight when I'm angry. Or sad.
And the thing that comes after pictures are words. But my words never seem to do my thoughts justice. Lots of things I have in my brain but only to be summarised as a few sentences on my blog. It's just not right.
Sometimes
I wish my command of English was better.
I wish I could draw better.
I wish I could express whatever is on my mind better.
And I really wish someone could understand me better.
Has been looping the MV these few days after it was released, and something has been urging me to type a blog entry about it. But I didn't want this blog entry to be just be telling you guys that the MV is awesome blah blah. So I went to loop the MV to try to discover little details that I'd probably missed.
(I think it looks better in full screen. This is way too small in my opinion.)
Hmm. So the MV shows the difference during the relationship and after the relationship ends. And how they try to put up a strong front (heheh that's the song title in English) but still breaking down in the end. Or putting up a strong front to try to maintain the relationship but still failing in the end. Whichever way you see it lah.
To me, Carrie is the one that tries to 逞强 after she broke up with the guy. Which explains her acting as if nothing happened when she saw Diya and the guy playing around (which probably reminded her of the times when she also did similar things with her ex-boyfriend), and when she saw her ex-boyfriend with another girl. And breaking down after they left the cafe because she couldn't continue to 逞强 anymore.
And Diya is the one who tries to 逞强 to keep up the relationship. To try to maintain it for as long as possible despite knowing that it won't keep up for long. Which is why she emo-ed in the bathroom just after happily brushing teeth with the guy. So when the guy officially asks for a break up with her, and reality (that the guy really doesn't love her anymore) hit her hard on the face, she breaks down because her attempt to 逞强 and keep up the relationship failed terribly.
Oh and I like the scenes where Diya and Carrie were thinking about the memories they had with their boyfriend before they broke up. The one where Diya looks at the instant photos she took with the guy and where Carrie looks at her birthday card that her boyfriend wrote for her. (It did take me some time to figure out those Chinese characters.)
The card writes:
爱你不敢说会到永远，
但至少会到老！
生日快乐！
And not forgetting the awesome emo scenes where Diya brushes her teeth alone and Carrie sits in the bathtub alone. And the both of them breaking down. In the bathroom and behind the cafe counter. :'(
I don't really know why but my mind has also been telling me that there is probably a significance of the strawberry cakes that appeared in the MV. And again after looping the MV, I think it kind of representslove. Not just the love though.
The first strawberry cake that appeared was during the Diya-and-her-boyfriend-playing scene. So it's something like loveshared between the two of them. (On a sidenote, the strawberry cake in that scene distracted me alittle because it was bouncing (I can't find a better word for that ;p) a little on the table. Hahahah.)
The second strawberry cake is Carrie's birthday cake in the MV. So it would be something like the love given by the guy to Carrie. And it was big so it was supposed to be lots of love from the guy. (Well, before they broke up.)
The third cake (hahaha I think it's a strawberry cake even though it wasn't shown ;p) would be the one that Carrie's ex-boyfriend's girlfriend orders from her. So it's kind of like the girl replacing Carrie as the receiver of the guy's love.
The fourth strawberry cake is the one that Carrie serves to Diya after Diya's boyfriend broke up with her and left. So the cake is a representation of her pity to Diya 'cos they were both in similar situations. Not the straightforward 'I-love-you-you-love-me' kind of love but more of pity and 同病相怜ness.
Oh ya and I like the words that appeared at the start and end of the MV!
Yea so to sum it all up, the MV is shot beautifully! Love it loads!!! 请支持插班生和《人生实验课》的专辑!
PS: I'm waiting for the song to be in KBox so I can go and sing~~~~ Or is it already released?
If life was fair, everyone would look the same and everyone's life would be literally the same. But of course life isn't, which is why I look like this and you look like that. Which is why there are people who die of hunger yet there are people born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
And then of course there are times I feel that life's not fair cos there's like a million of talented people out there in the world yet I'm not one of them. I know I should be satisfied with what I have because there are way more unfortunate people than me who may not have food to eat or may not have a home and being talented or not won't mean anything to them.
Argh. I do get jealous when I see talented people with looks on the TV/Internet/Anywhere. I mean, how can someone be born with good looks and talents and be rich and everything else?! (Whatever is typed in this entry is purely from the vain side of me who wants to have good looks and talents and be rich all at the same time. I honestly think it's not me who's typing.)
I have like, none of the above...
To be honest, this was what I was emo-ing about a few months ago. Because I couldn't get over the fact that I was neither pretty nor talented. But now that I've come to realise,
And some zi lian pics maybe about, 2+ years ago?! (So apparently it isn't true that Zi Lei doesn't take pictures of herself.) I am abstaining myself from puking.