Struggle

逆境求存

I don't know what to use as title

The more I go into gaming (or Mapling in that sense), the more brain cells I think I'm killing. Oh gosh.

I think it might be the reason why I haven't been updating my blog. I've been cooped inside my house for the entire holiday, except for a few outings here and there, some OGA training and also CCA. How can we experience life when we don't even step out of the house?! (You probably can but that's not the main point.)

It's like I have so many things awaiting me but instead I procrastinate and play Maple. Like, I have this very brief sketch of Xiaoman in my sketchbook and it has been sitting on my desk for nobody-knows-how-long. And then I have my House of Night: Burned that I read very slowly. And there's still this whole stack of Sec 2 AND Sec 1 worksheets that can probably fill up a box soon. And then the shelves beside my bed has like all sorts of things. And I haven't finished the Shakugan no Shana Season 2 that I intended to re-watch.

what sort of life is this?!

no life.

其实

我在乎。

我知道我看起来是bochup的，不过其实我在乎。

有时候会发现一些事情，然后显得不在乎……可是当我真正去思考为什么的时候，我发现我在乎。我很在乎。不管是别人做的某些事，说的某些话，我都是放在心里的。我告诉自己，我不需要在乎。可是deep down in my heart, I know I do.

Which is why I get emo sometimes. And I want this entry to make sense so much. But I know it doesn't. And it's horrible to type in English AND Chinese when I had intended to make the entire entry in Chinese. It sucks and I'm in kind of a terrible mood now for no apparent reason whatsoever and I need my 插班生 songs to make me more emo before I go for RBKD chalet tomorrow.

好，我去依某了。再见。

Tiny pixels making the world

I think my blog needs more colours than just black and white. Shall dig some colourful pictures from my folders.

Uhm. Sorry. No link. Third picture is not exactly colourful but I kind of miss my Tako. My mum kept it somewhere. My Takoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

You know sometimes, I really wish I can encounter really interesting things, interesting people and interesting happenings. But the thing is that my life has been as mundane as ever. My life in the holidays is just like, sleep, wake up, TV, computer, sleep. With some games or books here and there. It's starting to get to a point where I feel useless.

摇到外婆家 Part N

It's N because it's a variable because I don't know how many times I've been to my wai po jia.

Hmm I think this is going to be a slightly longer entry than my previous ones. Provided I can remember what I wanted to type...

So this trip to wai po jia was mostly about my dear youngest cousin Wan Ling. Everyone just goes 'Ah Baooooooooooooo' (it's what everyone calls her). And she's totally into the Talking Tom app in my sis's phone. She will say whatever she sees (like bottle, fan, window, etc) and then the cat will repeat and she starts laughing. For some reason she loves giving the cat milk. When she doesn't want to drink milk herself.

Oh and my uncle (aka my cousin's daddy) brought my cousins, my mum and I to this hotspring thing at Pekan Air Panas. And I was constantly jumping around when I first stepped into the pool thing because the water's hot. And I started floating around in the water.... because I don't know how to swim. (But then again, the pool's quite shallow so you can't swim also la). And then the lights in the female washrooms were switched off (on purpose I think, to make people leave at around 7) and then we had to change with light from phones.

And then dear Wan Ling started vomitting. Probably due to all the screaming when she was asked to shower a little.

And she continued to vomit even a day after. Sigh.... But the thing with her is that she's totally back to normal after vomitting. She continued to laugh at Talking Tom like nobody's business.

And I retrieved a small little piece of my childhood again this time. Like listening to nursery rhymes and songs and watching The Backyardigans (surprisingly it was quite nice) and Doraemon. And looking at my cousin laugh.

On a sidenote, I had this dream last night (or was it the night before?!) that someone in my family (I can't remember who) bought me a DSLR. And it was only less than $10 because of some promotion. And then the person bought a Nikon D4000 (Nope there's no Nikon D4000. There's a D3000 and D5000 and D40 and D400 but no D4000.) when I wanted a Canon. Then we went to the store to change the camera. And I woke up wondering if there was really a DSLR promotion which was that cheap. And wondered if I really had one.

See?

My inner self is telling me to get a DSLR. (And I want a film camera too!)

One of the things that I definitely want to fulfil before I leave this earth. Like how I want to learn to play the piano.

Guess I'll be back in the reality where I don't even own a camera and the only instruments I know are the recorder and erhu/gaohu (which I've probably forgotten long ago).

Sigh.