Thoughts recorder

Yea, I wish I can have one of those. It's like I'd always have conversations or blog drafts in my mind and I'd debate with myself and think about what to write for a new blog entry. But when I start typing it out I can't remember any. My thoughts just get lost in my mind and I can't find them anymore. I sigh.

And especially for an easily distracted person like me, I just forgot what was my aim of typing this entry. Really, damn it. I wanted to blog about CNY, then I wanted to blog about dreams, then..... I can't remember.

Let's do it one at a time then.

Chinese New Year was rather boring this year... and of course maybe everyone's mood was somehow affected by what happened on Christmas.... which I'd rather not say. All I did was just eating and doing homework and playing iPad. I didn't even gamble this year.

Hmm. Next one is dreams ya?

I was reading The Alchemist when I came across this.

"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny."

Which set me thinking about my destiny.

Y'know I was thinking, maybe I should just go all the way for art. Or music. Or acting. It's difficult to choose one because I love all of them, but yes I was thinking, maybe I should really just go forward to pursue a career related to art. Like digital media or graphic design or something. But that's the thing. Is it practical? I don't want to live off my parents then and I don't want to be worrying about my meals everyday.

That's the mysterious force. Practicality.

Because of this I started thinking if I should pursue a career in a completely different field, one that can allow me to earn a good sum of money, like accountancy or something. And then have arty stuff as the secondary one.

I really don't know you see. I wish the things I like were practical enough. If I loved maths or science I wouldn't be worrying about this now because I could study econs or accountancy or engineering. But why does everything I like have to be not practical. I like to draw, I like to sing, and I like to act. None of which are practical to be honest. But all of which are things I love dearly.

Sigh. I think this is the worry of all those who loves to draw.

This. Fear. Inside. Me.

This sucks.

How many times do you actually hear Zi Lei saying that she's worried about the homework that she's not done.

Damn it.

Don't know how I managed to live through this 2 months holiday without actually doing anything productive. (Well except for one drawing that I did.)

I'm starting to feel this fear that I'm the only one who didn't do much homework. OK FTS I'M DAMN SCARED NOW LA.

For the past few days (or weeks or months) I've been doing pointless things like checking Twitter and FB and Weibo for my idols' (Currently 4 of them, with the latest one being Qingfeng. *starry-eyed*) and now into Sodagreen forums and PTT. WTF you say. Yes WTF have I been doing. Gosh I don't even know what I'm typing right now. I guess this sounds a bit uh.... off-track. Or something. Oh whatever.

大人，小孩；珍惜。

嗯，大概一個星期前我去了外婆家，讓我發現了一件事。就是啊，其實大人和小孩的想法真的很不一樣。可能是因為人長大了，社會化了，很多小時候有的純真都漸漸失去了吧。就比如說，我四歲的表妹把布丁弄得稀巴爛的。她說這樣攪攪攪，布丁就會變成粥。那麼大人們當然是說，別再攪了，很噁心。

可是問題來了。如果我表妹不覺得噁心呢？可能在我們成人的世界裡，被弄爛的布丁很噁心，那如果在小朋友的世界裡，布丁不管怎麼樣都好吃，可能水水的，更好吃。為什麼要以大人的角度去評論一個小孩子的行為呢……

---

話說回來…看到我的外婆已經老了，心裡還是有點涼涼又酸酸的。真的希望能好好珍惜回外婆家的時光。有時候在外婆家，還是會想起我的外公，想起他常常坐在涼椅上看新聞，想起我媽夾菜給外公，想起他對我說我聽不懂的海南話，想起我沒有好好珍惜那些時光，還有那些每次聽我媽提起的事。每次想起，心都還是很痛，很痛。我後悔沒有緊緊抓住躺在病床上的外公的手。我清楚記得，是他抓著我的手。我知道，他並不想放手。

把上面那些字打出來時……我已經哭了。

真的希望我會學會珍惜，也希望你們也能學會珍惜。

沒有什麼事是永遠的。人也一樣。

:')

Off my mind

Have been wanting to write a blog entry for quite some time but I keep procrastinating, and after a while, I just forget about what I wanted to write. Especially when I'm multi-tasking and the Blogger tab gets ignored because I was busy refreshing Twitter/Facebook/Weibo (to see if my idols just updated something), watching YouTube videos (I just paused a video to type this out), playing Chrome apps (Waiting for my buildings to build in this game called Dragons of Atlantis) and probably reading something else (like the passages in my 作业) as well.

Hmm. While having a shower just now (Okay, not really. About 3 hours ago.), I was thinking about the ATC camp last week or so. And then I was thinking, it has been a long time since I did a little monologue and wrote our own scripts for drama. That day I was telling Ter Shien, "Whoa so long never do this already leh." Oh well, it really was a long time. Oh and I volunteered to go for a tech training together with some juniors who are in tech and some who are not. ATC is really lacking a tech person right now after the seniors left. And I actually haven't had any tech training (except keeping wires and a prior experience of pressing the spacebar for the lighting & sound cues).

Okay moving on.

I'M GOING TO SEE 插班生 TOMORROW! For this 插班生 《10年100大音樂會》The Freshman Music Showcase at Crazyworld Cafe! They'll be having a song list longer than that of any event they've had! Which totally spells FUN. And I will be giving the birthday card that I had drawn for Cee, (Which personally I think is quite nice lor. [不要脸]) Anyway if you're reading this and you're interested, there are still tickets for the showcase! Check out www.crazyworldcafe.com/cbs!

Next.

Oh I want to say, 青峰 from 苏打绿 is really really really cute! I can't exactly say why he's really cute to me but he just has this cute thing about him.



This video is taken really well and in high definition. Gosh, such pleasure to watch cute Qingfeng in fullscreen~  This is one of my favourite song in their new album too!

(Whoa. It's already 2:17 AM.)

By the way, other than a DSLR which I've been wanting to get since a year back or something, I want to get a keyboard too. :( Good thing it doesn't cost as much as a DSLR does. Problem is how I am supposed to tell my mum that I'VE BEEN WANTING TO LEARN TO PLAY THE DAMN PIANO AND I WAITED UNTIL NOW AND I WANT TO GET A FREAKING KEYBOARD AND IT'S NOT VERY EXPENSIVE SO YES I'M GONNA GET IT. And if my mum strikes lottery or steps on a lump of gold on the ground or notes flew from the sky, I want to get all of the above and a wacom tablet too. Haven't really thought of how I'm going to put it to good use but I guess it's a good thing to have for doodling on the computer and playing iSketch.

Yea that's about it.

(I need a proper ending to this entry.)

Goodnight..

噢我的偶像。

哈咯everybody！

我突然很想说，还没有Like插班生的Facebook快去Like吧！！！！

她们很努力，很认真，很可爱，唱歌也很好听！
所以我很爱。:)










很喜欢她们的spontaneity～


很爱很爱的cover。是这个esplanade showcase之后我疯狂repeat的。

Like完了，顺便去看一看她们的
网站：http://thefreshman.com.sg/
Twitter：http://twitter.com/ChaBanSheng
http://twitter.com/Diyatangugu http://twitter.com/carrieyeo
Youtube：http://youtube.com/user/TheFreshmanager

外国的月亮不一定比较圆，那里的草也不一定比较绿。Local talents不一定比较差。

Okay，报告完毕。希望看到这个blog entry的你们也会和我一样，喜欢她们，支持她们。<3
:)